You heard me right! I, the mighty Griffy, have returned home early from my church-mission!! It's abooout... 21 months early, isn't it? I came back the night of this last Monday. I... I-I CAN EXPLAIN.
... Or, I can try to, that is.

       Sooo.... the mission was hard. Not unbearable by any physical means or anything of that nature, despite that there truly was an abundance of physical work, but... it was more upon mental and emotional things, for me. I'd actually gone out into the mission field more by pressure than by my own desire, for example. I'd tried for a long while to go along with the encouragement directly from others around me and from family, and even tried to really want it, myself, as was desired from all of them. Upon going out into the mission field itself on the night of June 18th, though, I finally accepted something in myself. I'd always been holding it back and denying it, and even have been hypocritical with it at times,.... but I finally came to terms that I am, in fact, bisexual. I have attraction to both sexes, and I've known of it for years, and even have a... bit of a male-lean, I guess you could say. This has definitely been a bigger part of my life within the furry fandom itself, moreso while I'm "as a dragon" within the fandom, but... it's a part of me, has been, and my denial of it and personal shame of it has affected me for the past decade and a lot more in recent years. I'm grateful that I was able to finally come to terms with myself in this by going on the mission, but it definitely acted as a contributing factor that led to my decision to return home early because, sadly, the lds church does not support in living LGBTQ+ lifestyles, thus intentionally rejecting LGBTQ+ individuals who live them, which thus results in commonly bringing grief and bottled-sorrows to those who are part of the community.

       With this being the case, this opened the doors much more for me to have doubts with the church. The lds church does a lot of good, definitely, but at the same time... there's also a lot of stuff which hasn't sat right with me, personally. One thing is obviously the church's stance on LGBTQ+ matters, but the other had to do with its histories. Now, I didn't exactly previously know much about the history of the church, as it's not talked about very often in great detail, but upon being on the mission... I had a greater, forced opportunity for study-time each morning while in the field. Across the course of my time there, I was finally able to dive deep into research, alongside the scriptures themselves, into historical essays which, ultimately, gave me enough resolve to decide to come home.

       ... AAANYWAYS, blah blah blah: I'm back now. I'm happy to be back, too! It was obviously a hard decision to return home so early, BUT... I've already been feeling that it was the right decision to come back, and I'm already reaping the benefits of it in just a single week in, as well. It's so good to be back with family, and with those that I love here online and especially in the furry community. Gosh I love this fandom so much. It's such a special place of art and bonding with one another, and is so full of such and of music and various other talents on a global-wide scale. I can't see myself ever leaving it with how it is right here and now. 💕💚💕
So... plans! With having gone to FWA2019, I 100% plan to also go to FWA2020, as well, and plan to start going to furcons in general more regularly. I'll also be diving heavily into art again, and with now being home and knowing that I'm here to stay to build my life and future up, I'm confident that I'll be able to follow through with that better and will thus be posting more of my work, too. <3

       So.... heck yeah, everybody. Heck yeah. I'm back, and I'm here to stay. Love all of you tonsss~ 💚💚💚

    Gosh... it's been a while! Not only since my last update journal, but... just... in general! Sadly have not been posting art like I always used to, but do not fret, I have been drawing. Just... again, not posting anything. Quite a bad habit, huh? xvx;
BUT, there's much more than this that I want to speak of. First off, so it's at the top of this journal,

I'm finally going on that church mission I've been talking of: A 2-year mission under the name of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

I've been called to serve in the Rancho Cucamonga, California Mission! What's crazy, too, is that my second younger brother's beaten me to going on a mission, as well, and was called to the Los Angeles California mission! We're going to be a lot closer to one another than most missionaries are to family, I'd say. Admittedly, though, with going on a mission... I am quite nervous. I know the nervousness will only keep increasing, too, until I hopefully begin to get used to things out in the field. With this being the case, though, I will bring up this:

If any of you wish to be updated/remain in contact with me while I am on my mission, practically my only way of contact will be through my missionary email with weekly writings I send out from

peterson.sterling@missionary.org.

For me to best add you into my personal contacts with that email, you can send an email over to it with your name so that I know who you are! Suppose it's as simple as that, really. c:


    Mm, now that the most important and time-sensitive thing is out of the way, I'll try to be more brief than I'd like to be in summarizing what's happened in my life since my last journal.
SO!... I finally got to build my very own computer. I'm typing this journal out with it now, in fact! It's a desktop PC, although I love the mobility of laptops. I'd gone through my first job ever (which was in fast-food and was therefore hardly enjoyable), and once I had enough for my PC parts and a bit extra, I'd quit to then get the parts, build the PC, and get to work on things I've always wanted to do! More art, Youtubing, streaming and more! Oh dang, and I'd FINALLY get to play all the PC videogames that require so much "unf" in tech! Hallelujah!
    Building the PC was a very enlightening and educational experience, for sure. Word of advice: Pay attention to specifics more than you think you should! I'd incorrectly installed part of the cooling system because I had not yet known that there are different types of ways you can install one based upon what other brands you have in your build, so... oof. Re-installing the part as it should've been had worked out, thankfully. I simply just got frustrated at the time with it, things turned out a-okay in the end!~ ^.=.^

    Welp... I at least got to do some of the things I'd planned with it, but with the high and repeating encouragement to go on a mission and to try out another job in the meantime, too, I'd gotten myself another job at a picture-printing-and-crafts place and had begun working on the mission paperwork. It was a long and agonizing process to do that paperwork as well, by the way. Tons of problems in every possible way had to be fought through, basically. The second job was actually a pretty nice one, though, at least! I'm glad I got into it, even though it sucked up the majority of my time I wished to use for finishing artwork and enjoying hobbies.
Fast-forward closer to now, though, the mission paperwork was finished and sent and I'm done with my second job, and I leave this Wednesday morning, May 29th, to go to the Provo, Utah Missionary Training Center for... 3 weeks before I'll head down to Rancho Cucamonga, CA. Oof. It's all happening so fast, I'm struggling to fit in everything I want to do before going. I'll definitely be sketching during my mission, though, don't you all worry about that!

One last thing I want to mention is that... thanks to my friend Dither, I was able to experience a furry convention far earlier than I'd expected to.... and it was the greatest experience of my life, and I'm so glad I went. It was Furry Weekend Atlanta 2019 with the year's theme being pirates, and Dither was so kind as to even make me a tail pretty accurately fashioned both in size and appearance to my dragonsona Griffin's tail. He's a fursuit-maker, after all! I was able to wear that during the con (which I did for most of the convention days 'cause it's seriously so awesome), and I met so many friends and loved ones in person for the first time whom I've known for years. I'm so glad for that, and I want to thank him again for building my courage up enough to go out there into the world to experience this. I'll cherish it forever, and am so much more eager to go to more cons in the future. <3

ANYWHO, I really should call it good with the journal here, now, before I keep writing more and more and more. I know how tedious it can be to read through lengthy journals. At least I don't write too many, then, yeah?
Lastly,... I love and appreciate everyone who follows after my artwork and me as a person, even though I still have yet to become a more frequent poster of such things. Thank you all so much, and I'll miss you in my journeys across the next 2 years very, very much, and look forward to coming back with the experiences I gather. Thanks for reading~ 💚